What I want to teach my girls

What do you want to teach your kids about playing sports? 

Is it about winning and losing all the time?

Is it about being a good sport?  Is it playing with integrity while the chips are down?  Is it about playing your own game?

What kind of sideline parent are you?

 

These are the questions that are in my head now.

Are sports only about winning and losing?  Not at a young age.  At a young age, they want to play the game.  They want to be with their friends.  They want to run around.  But, there comes a time when winning does matter.  Everyone want to be a winner.  If you don't ... what's wrong with you?  Winner's get ahead in life.  You "win" the job interview, you "win" a spot on the varsity level; everyone want to win! But at what cost is where the integrity part comes in.

The second set of questions has been put in front of me because of what I have seen during this rugby season.  I want to teach the girls not to stoop to the levels of other players.  High tackles, pushing and punching are not ways to win a rugby match.  (Today, after the ball gotten out of the ruck, a girl came up swinging at Gabby's head.  Luckily, she blocked and kept on running.  But, I'm sure those that know me, know that I wasn't going to take a child punching my child in the face during a match.  I put the other mom's on notice, and the coaches too ... that I was going to run onto the pitch if that happened and contact was made.)  When you are losing ... go back to the fundamentals ... go back to the basics ... teamwork and and ball skills.

 

During one of the matches a few months ago, the girls were watching two other teams play.  They started to cheer for the one that they knew they could beat easily.  I told them to immediately stop.  To me, it was not an acceptable thing to do.  You do not wish harm or ill will to another team.  (Karma??)  I explained to them, that it wasn't good and why, and what if the tables were turned.  They immediately stopped and haven't done it since (they have watched other teams, but only have cheered on the good plays made by both teams).  Today, I had to ask another team to not do that to our team.  I told them they were being rude.  (We beat the cheering team today, so they actually wanted us to lose to the other team - thus the cheering.) 

As a parent, you will never know what exactly happens on the field.  I get relayed some messages like this one.  "Mommy, do you know know what that team said about us on the field?  They said "We've hurt two now, let's see how many more we can hurt."  "  Really?  REALLY?  Is THAT what we are teaching our girls?  I did inform them that if I ever hear anything like that come out of their mouths, I would walk onto the pitch and yank their butts off ...  

The Ref's can help in situations too.  They need to stop the game, and corral the players.  Though, no need to play favorites.  Just an FYI ... you should not ref a game for a team that you coach, and one that your child is a member of.  No one is THAT impartial. 

So what are we teaching our girls?  I am trying to teach them not to react to other players that are losing (Gabby made me proud today).   I am trying to teach them to have Grace when cheering for other teams, when losing a match or when winning a match. 

Lastly, as a parent, I am working on, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".  I learned this as an athlete in high school.  I hated it when other parents yelled at me and told me what I was doing wrong.  I am still of the mindset that if you're not the coach or that child's parent ... Keep. It. Shut.  So, from the sidelines, you will hear me yelling, "Play your game girls", "tackle at the legs" and "Great job ....".    I will only use my extremely loud voice for good ... not evil.

This is a great group of Mom's.  (Gabby pointed out that I am the tallest when she took the pictures ... yeah, that's something new ;) )

***I know that our team has made high tackles, had a bad attitude and said cuss words (usually in a foreign language).  I am not here to make it sound like we have angels.  Those that know me, know that my eyes are wide open to good and bad of my kids (any myself).