Party of 4 on the move: October 2012

I had an interesting conversation with a friend of H's. She asked if I stayed at home full time. When I replied, "Yes", she said, "That's cool. I wish my mom stayed home.".

I thought that was interesting. They live on the golf course, have a much bigger home than us and probably make more than us. But in reality, all the kids want, is that the parents are home.

We made the decision long before kids that I would stay home. Jonathan and I didn't have that (not because our parents were super career oriented, but actually needed to have two incomes). We don't have new fancy cars, the biggest house in the neighborhood or buy our kids $80 jeans. But, the thing I can give them ... a stay at home mom that is there when they need me ... might be the gift they remember most in their life.

I am blessed that I can do it.

I believe that he is completely RIGHT in all these statements. When family members complain about money, I have found that they can check off at least 75% of this list. Why is this so hard to understand? If we could get this right in our personal lives, I think we would be able to get this right with the government too!

Dear Friend: Here Are 41 Reasons Why I'm NOT Lending You the Money
Posted: 17 Oct 2012 12:15 AM PDT

Earlier this year, the Huffington Post featured a curious article that attempted to explain why our friends often fail to repay money that they borrow from us. In a nutshell, the piece offered five reasons:

You refuse to ask for the money back.

You make it too easy for your friends to ignore you.

You didn't get the loan in writing.

Your friends assume that their unpaid debt won't result in a broken friendship.

Your friends never planned to give you the money back in the first place.

Strangely enough, the author failed to offer the most logical — not to mention obvious — reason why anyone would ever welch on a loan from a friend or relative: they're a deadbeat.
Truth be told, I have occasionally loaned money to my financially-pinched friends and relatives. Not often, but I have.
In several cases, I've offered the cash with no strings attached because I believed the bind they were in was due to something out of their control.
That being said, if you happen to be a friend of mine who's been thinking about asking me for a loan, keep in mind that your odds of success will be extremely remote if one or more of the following are true:

You refuse to get a job — any job.

You've got a million reasons why you can't work a second job.

You drive a 2012 Lexus when a 1997 Honda Civic will do.

You insist on living somewhere with a high cost-of-living even though your income (or lack thereof) can't support it.

You fail to understand that debt is a mortgage on your future.

Your priorities are all screwed up.

You live in a larger home than you can reasonably afford.

You refuse to raise additional cash by selling some of your "toys."

You prefer to blame others for your poor financial situation.

You're materialistic.

You fail to comprehend the concept of value.

You've got a closet full of $200 designer jeans.

You own a $500 handbag.

You wear $400 Louis Vuitton Millionaire sunglasses.

You play the lottery on a regular basis.

Your teenager drives a brand new car when a beater will do.

You think money grows on trees.

You insist that packing a brown bag lunch is waste of time.

You recently completed an ambitious kitchen remodel even though it didn't really need it.

You own five dogs, three cats, a cockatoo and an anaconda.

You refuse to quit smoking.

You're woefully disorganized.

You can't tell me exactly how much money you earn each month.

You can't explain — nor have any idea – where your money goes every month.

You refuse to save money by eating leftovers.

You believe it's all about living in the moment.

You just got back from a 10-day Caribbean cruise.

You have no concept of personal responsibility.

You failed to maintain rainy day and emergency funds.

You own an iPhone.

You eat out too much.

You're still sending your child to private school.

You're a big believer in keeping up with the Joneses.

You still have a gardener. (Never mind that his leaf blower wakes me up every Saturday morning.)

You just bought another large screen high definition television.

You seem to think that poor planning on your part constitutes an emergency on mine.

Your spouse refuses to get a job.

You don't know the difference between a want and a need.

You've shown no inclination to change your financially destructive behavior.

You haven't established a credible plan for digging yourself out of debt.

And if that's not enough for you, here's one more: Quite frankly, I'm tired of coddling people who refuse to sacrifice and make the same hard decisions that I do every day in order to ensure I live within my means.
Is that harsh? No — that's life.
So, now that I've made myself perfectly clear … do you still want to ask me for a loan?
Photo Credit: Infrogmation

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