Which side of the bully coin were you on?

While flipping through the channels the other day, I saw Dr. Drew and Jenny McCarthy talking about bullying. After listening to them, I started to think about my childhood.

I remember being bullied in school, I also remember being the bully in school. Needless to say, I am not proud of the latter. But it really got me thinking about the things that happen in school, home school and in life. Is being bullied and being a bully part of growing up?

A parent never wants to hear that their child is a bully (at least a decent parent doesn’t). But, one day last year, I was told that my child was. I couldn’t believe my ears. I knew she could be mean, but a bully? (She called someone a fatty)

Fast forward to this past week when I was watching Dr. Drew. I had the girls watch this with me. I let them know that their words actually mean something to someone. These words, that they think will build them up, could actually tear someone else down. I am hoping that having these conversations now, will help in the future.

Here we are today, Wednesday, October 12, 2011. This is the conversation that was relayed to me:

Girl 1: Your too skinny

H: What would you like me to do? This is how I am.

Girl 1: Well, you’re just too skinny

(Just so people know, this too can cause a self-esteem problem just as much as being called fatty)

Girl 2: It’s because your Mom makes you work out all the time

G – No, we like to play sports. Do you like to play sports?

Girl 2: Yes, but ….

I’m very glad that the girls stuck up for themselves (and me). I am also very glad that they were able to do this without calling someone else a name or tearing someone else down.

One of the best books I’ve read and reread is a book called, “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. There is now an edition for teenage girls. This is the next book that the girls and I are going to read together. I think that if they understand the fundamentals of this book, they will hopefully be able to by pass some of this stuff.